The Keanu Reeves Review

I have a cold coming on. This displeases me.

Wet Keanu

Now it is my firm belief that Keanu Reeves is one hot little potato however there is one thing I like more then Keanu Reeves, and that is Keanu Reeves wet.

Now I hear you cry ‘Woah there Katherine! Isn’t that the same thing?” and to that I answer ‘YOU CRAZY FOOL! HAVE YOU NEVER KNOWN THE DELIGHTS OF A WET KEANU?!’

See that Keanu? Yeah, he’s wet. His clothes are sticking to him and he totally looks like an animal stalking it’s pray. Look at that shirt! It’s skin tight! Just think of the state of his pants [I have a very good source saying he’s packing. ;)]

Truthfully [And I say this on behalf of all women] I want me some Wet Keanu. I would be very, very happy to dry him off with my tongue.

Wet Keanu may be the most delicious kind of Keanu around, sure you have Adorable Keanu and Naughty Keanu, Sexy Doctor Keanu and Bad Cop Keanu but wet Keanu takes the cake in my opinion.

Review; Permanent Record.

Made in 1988 this moves is about the effect a friend’s death has on a high school. David Sinclair [Alan Boyce] plays a straight A student who seems to have everything, early in the film however we see that he’s really stressed out after he goes off at his schools principle. Chris [Keanu’s character] is the best friend who is left behind. Keanu does a pretty damn good job of bringing the character to life, before David kills himself the chemistry between the two boys is so upbeat and honest you believe they are best friends. The energy bounces off them something that is helped a lot by Keanu’s natural bouncy puppy energy. Keanu is adorable in this movie, he’s floopy like he was in Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure and his hair really deserves some sort of award. I think Keanu’s performance beings this whole movie together, he doesn’t just ~act the part but he ~looks the part. He looks like a high school student in some band, the way he holds himself proves he knows his way around a guitar. In this movie he is honest, he’s not trying to be some super serious actor, he’s there to give an honest performance and he pulls it off superbly. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again Keanu can’t really cry, now I know there is a reason for it [one I may go into later] but I still believe he isn’t the worlds best cryer. In a scene halfway through the movie Chris breaks down having narrowly missed running over David’s little brother whilst drink driving. The scene is quite a touching one, Chris finally lets out all the sorrow and anger he’s been keeping in since David’s death and collapses into Chris’s fathers arms weeping and crying out ‘I should have known, it’s my fault.’ After that scene Chris gets his act together, he finishes loose ends at school and apologises to the school principle [a very likable character played brilliantly by Richard Bradford] he gets the band back together and finishes lyrics to a song David was struggling with before he died. The ending of the movie is somewhat cheesie however, I  likes it.  Throughout the movie the high school is putting on a production of the HMS Pinafore, both David and Chris were to be apart of it however while all the other supporting characters are in the production Chris gives up on the play. We find ourselves in the middle of the the play where one of the supporting characters Lauren [Chris’s girlfriend] strays from the planed solo and instead sings the song both David and Chris wrote, paying tribute to David. I liked the ending as it tied a lot of things up without being to obvious about it. You’re left with a feeling of a sadness mingled with hope and peace. The movie doesn’t focus on the death of David but on the strength and courage of those left behind.

Keanu was the perfect choice for this movie. He gives a heartfelt performance and looks really, really cute.

8 1/2 stars.